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Saturday, October 30, 2010

Men and shopping

This is why women should not take men shopping against their will.

After I retired, my wife insisted that I accompany her on her trips to Wal-Mart. Unfortunately, like most men, I found shopping boring and preferred to get in and get out. Equally unfortunately, my wife is like most women - she loved to browse.

Yesterday my dear wife received the following letter from the local Wal-Mart:

Dear Mrs. Gilbert,

Over the past six months, your husband has been causing quite a commotion in our store. We cannot tolerate this behavior and have been forced to ban both of you from the store. Our complaints against Mr. Gilbert are listed below and are documented by our video surveillance cameras.

1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they weren't looking.

2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.

3. July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the women's restroom.

4 July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official voice, 'Code 3 in Housewares. Get on it right away.'

5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to put a bag of M&M's on layaway.

6. August 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

7. A ugust 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told other shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring pillows and blankets from the bedding department.

8. August 23: When a clerk asked if they could help him he began crying and screamed, 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?'

9. September 4: Looked right into the security camera and used it as a mirror while he picked his nose.

10. September 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, he asked the clerk where the antidepressants were.

11. October 3: Darted around the store suspiciously while loudly humming the ' Mission Impossible' th eme.

12. October 6: In the auto department, he practiced his 'Madonna look' by using different sizes of funnels.

13. October 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed through yelled, 'PICK ME! PICK ME!'

14. October 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he assumed a fetal positi o n and screamed, 'OH NO! IT'S THOSE VOICES AGAIN!'
And last, but not least...

15. October 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited awhile, then yelled very loudly, 'Hey! There's no toilet paper in here!'
Sincerely,
Wal-Mart


This is way too funny NOT to share!

The Numbers

getting better....

Most people try to get ‘better' at things every year. This is probably a little closer to reality....

2001: I will read at least 20 good books a year.
2002: I will read at least 10 good books a year.
2003: I will read at least 5 good books a year.
2004: I will finish "Airport."

2001: I will not spend my money frivolously.
2002: I will pay off my bank loan promptly.
2003: I will pay off my second mortgage promptly.
2004: I will begin making a strong effort to be out of debt by 2008.

2001: I will get my weight down to below 180.
2002: I will watch my calories until my weight is down to below 190.
2003: I will follow my new diet religously until my weight is under 200.
2004: I will try to develop a new attitude about my weight.

2001: I will host a summer barbecue for the whole subdivision this year.
2002: I will get to know the neighbors on my block a little better this year.
2003: I will invite my next door neighbor to dinner this year.
2004: I will find a good real estate agent.

2001: I will have the cat spayed this year.
2002: I will find a cheaper newspaper for the "free kitten" ads this year.
2003: I will have all the carpets cleaned this year.
2004: I will frame the "thank you" note from my veterinarian for putting her son through college.

2001: I will see my dentist this year.
2002: I will have my cavities filled this year.
2003: I will have my root canal work done this year.
2004: I will buy stock in Polident this year.

Saturday, October 23, 2010

Scrapbooking





Have gotten into digital scrapbooking lately. Sharing my creations.

Random updates

Watched all girls movies n painted my nails.
lemony slush... yummilicious!

My Bro in law got these red roses for my sister... *sweet* n my fav magazine.
chicken soup for the soul... my whole family is kinda sick :(

Warning Labels

You have probably heard about the lawsuit over a spilled cup of coffee. However, there are many other silly lawsuits involving products that have received far less attention. For example, did you know a man received $50,000 when he sued a small company that makes basketball nets because he claimed the company was responsible when he caught his teeth in a net while dunking a ball? People who make products hear about these outrageous lawsuits, and they often decide to slap common sense warnings on their product... "just in case."

In 1997, Michigan Lawsuit Abuse Watch (M-LAW) began a contest to expose how frivolous lawsuits, and a concern about potential frivolous lawsuits, have led to a new cultural phenomenon: the wacky warning label.

Over the years, M-LAW has received hundreds of warning labels from people around the world. M-LAW verifies the authenticity of each label and selects the "Top 5" for each year.

Following is a list of some of the best labels from the first five contests:

A warning on an electric router made for carpenters cautions: "This product not intended for use as a dental drill."

A warning label found on a baby stroller cautions the user to "Remove child before folding"

A prescription of sleeping pills says, "Warning: May cause drowsiness

A sticker on a toilet at a public facility in Ann Arbor, Michigan actually warns: "Recycled flush water unsafe for drinking."

A massage chair warns: "DO NOT use massage chair without clothing... and, Never force any body part into the backrest area while the rollers are moving."

A snow blower warns: "Do not use snow thrower on roof."

A dishwasher carries this warning: "Do not allow children to play in the dishwasher."

A CD player carries this unusual warning: "Do not use the Ultradisc2000 as a projectile in a catapult."

An "Aim-n-Flame" fireplace lighter cautions, "Do not use near fire, flame or sparks"

A label on a hand-held massager advises consumers not to use "while sleeping or unconscious"

Submitted by John L. Hoh, Jr., http://www.geocities.com/hohjohn/
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House on Wheels












Her name was Dorothy

During my second month of nursing school, our professor gave us a pop quiz. I was a conscientious student and had breezed through the questions, until I read the last one: 'What is the first name of the woman who cleans the school?"

Surely, this was some kind of joke. I had seen the cleaning woman several times. She was tall, dark-haired and in her 50s, but how would I know her name?

I handed in my paper, leaving the last question blank.

Before class ended, one student asked if the last question would count toward our quiz grade.

"Absolutely," said the professor. "In your careers you will meet many people. All are significant. They deserve your attention and care, even if all you do is smile and say hello."

I've never forgotten that lesson. I also learned her name was Dorothy.

Pencil Shading 01


Saturday, October 9, 2010

Ack...online boredom (again!)

Did this tag way back in 2008... doing again to see how much i have changed over the years.... here goes...



1) Full name? Azra Fatima
2) Male/Female? female
3) Were you named after anyone? yes Lady Fatima (s.a)
4) Does your name mean anything? it means two things, one - a pious woman and two - pearl
5) Nickname(s)? ajju, ajjuma
6) What do you think you look like? pretty decent looking
7) Date of birth? 18th of feb
8) Place of birth and current location? hyderabad
9) Nationality? hyderabadi indian
10) Astrology sign? aquarius
11) Chinese astrology sign? no idea
12) Religion? islam
13) What's your favorite smell? just pink by next
14) Political position? none
15) What do you prefer to drink in the morning? water+tea
16) Hair + eye color? brown+black
17) Do you look like anyone famous? No
18) What do you look like? azra fatima
19) Any unusual talents? i can be a agony aunt to ppl who just met me 5mins ago!! (ps: i hate it, i hate it, i hate it..... shut up shut up shut up!!!!)
20) Righty, lefty, or ambidextrous? righty
21) Gay, straight, bi, or other? straight.
22) What do you do for a living? design
23) What do you do for fun? read pretty crafty, housewifely kind of blogs / watch movies / read
24) Materials to work with? Pencil, laptop, scanner = too lazy... use a camera!!
25) What kind of materials would you like to work with? paint
26) Have you met your grandparents? Yes
27) Boyfriend/Girlfriend? none
28) Crush? none
29) What celebrity would you date if you could? none
30) Current worries? The future...
31) Favorite online guy/girl(s)? none
34) Do you burn or tan? tan
35) Ever break a bone? never
36) What is your favorite cereal? honey coated cornflakes and choco flakes
37) Person you cry with? sisters
38) Any sisters? two
39) Any brothers? one
40) Any pets? none
41) An illness? None whatsoever
42) A pager? Nope
43) A personal phone line? Yes No :(
44) A cell phone? Yes
45) A visible birthmark? mole on neck
46) A pool or hot tub? Pools
47) A car? have one
48) Personality? confused
49) Driving? loves it i miss sitting back n looking out at shops, billboards, etc.
50) Your clothing style? If I'm happy wearing it, I wear it!
51) Room? messy its RED n white... n pretty organized! *so happy*
52) What’s missing? cant figure it out having a family of my own *sigh*
53) School? nasr
54) Bed? big
55) Relationship with your parents? good
56) Do you believe in yourself? Yeah, I'm awesomest! *cough* i need to.... no one matters more than me!!
57) Do you believe in love at first sight? no
58) Consider yourself a good listener? Mostly
59) Have a future dream that you would like to share? to have a beautiful home n a equally beautiful family.
60) Get along with your parents? Yes, I do.
61) Save your e-mail conversations? If it's something important..
62) Pray? yes
63) Believe in reincarnation? no
64) Brush your teeth twice a day? Nope..just once. But I love my toothbrush = (love my toothbrush?!? wat was i thinking?!)
65) Like to talk on the phone? sometimes hell no!!
66) Like to eat? loves to eat... hell lives to eat!!
67) Like to exercise? Haha..no. I'm lazy sometimes
68) Like to watch sports? BLAH!!
69) Sing in the car? sometimes when am alone
70) What is a dream that you have all the time? dat am sitting for an exam and am all blank  about school

71) Dream in color? I think so Yes
72) Do you have nightmares? Many times...
73) Sleep with a stuffed animal? nah i dnt bother myself with silly things... n i like space... lots of it.
74) What's right next to you? bed
75) What's on your favorite mug? I don't have a favorite mug
76) What's on your mouse pad? It's just blue.. 'intel inside'
77) Your favorite flavor of gum? strawberry or banana
78) Your brand of deodorant? never used one
79) Your dream honeymoon spot? anywhere sea side... can be a cruise ride too....;) austria!
80) Your dream husband/wife? who doesnt bother me too much over silly little details. humble, yet confident, respect me n my views even if he doesnt agree with 'em.
81) What's hiding in your closet? Clothes....
82) Under your bed? u wudnt want to knw.
83) The name of one of your closest/best friends? shanu n tinu
84) Your bad time of the day? The morning. I'm grumpy and tired
85) Your worst fear(s)? Lots of things...sadly
86) What's the weather like? warm and sunny
87) Your favorite time of year? SUMMER!
88) Your favorite holiday? Summer holiday..
89) A material weakness? clothes... and lots of it...! cosmetics
90) The weirdest food or drink that you like? hmmmm....
91) At the top of your "to do list"? pending projects
92) The hardest thing about growing up? showing responsibility, worrying about everything..
93) A pet peeve?
94) Your scariest moment? Hmm..I'm not sure, exactly when couples fight.
95) Your attitude about love? its great while it lasts. love is to disagree yet hold hands
96) The funniest or most desperate thing you've done? locked myself in a public toilet while in iran... n screaming for help... broke my desk chair... twice!!
97) The worst feeling in the world? To be left all alone when you need someone
98) The best feeling in the world? To be loved
99) Who sent this to you? some random girl
100) 5 people to send this test too? he, she and they *points*
bubye *waves*

Drink to your health

No one can make u feel...

Email

An unemployed man is desperate to support his family. His wife watches TV all day and his three teenage kids have dropped out of high school to hang around with the local toughs. He applies for a janitor's job at a large firm and easily passes an aptitude test.

The human resources manager tells him, "You will be hired at minimum wage of $5.15 an hour. Let me have your e-mail address so that we can get you in the loop. Our system will automatically e-mail you all the forms and advise you when to start and where to report on your first day."

Taken back, the man protests that he is poor and has neither a computer nor an e-mail address. To this the manager replies, "You must understand that to a company like ours that means that you virtually do not exist. Without an e-mail address you can hardly expect to be employed by a high-tech firm. Good day."

Stunned, the man leaves. Not knowing where to turn and having $10 in his wallet, he walks past a farmers' market and sees a stand selling 25lb crates of beautiful red tomatoes. He buys a crate, carries it to a busy corner and displays the tomatoes.

In less than 2 hours he sells all the tomatoes and makes 100% profit. Repeating the process several times more that day, he ends up with almost $100 and arrives home that night with several bags of groceries for his family.

During the night he decides to repeat the tomato business the next day. By the end of the week he is getting up early every day and working into the night. He multiplies his profits quickly.

Early in the second week he acquires a cart to transport several boxes of tomatoes at a time, but before a month is up he sells the cart to buy a broken-down pickup truck.

At the end of a year he owns three old trucks. His two sons have left their neighborhood gangs to help him with the tomato business, his wife is buying the tomatoes, and his daughter is taking night courses at the community college so she can keep books for him.

By the end of the second year he has a dozen very nice used trucks and employs fifteen previously unemployed people, all selling tomatoes. He continues to work hard.

Time passes and at the end of the fifth year he owns a fleet of nice trucks and a warehouse which his wife supervises, plus two tomato farms that the boys manage. The tomato company's payroll has put hundreds of homeless and jobless people to work. His daughter reports that the business grossed a million dollars.

Planning for the future, he decides to buy some life insurance. Consulting with an insurance adviser, he picks an insurance plan to fit his new circumstances. Then the adviser asks him for his e-mail address in order to send the final documents electronically.

When the man replies that he doesn't have time to mess with a computer and has no e-mail address, the insurance man is stunned, What, you don't have e-mail? No computer? No Internet? Just think where you would be today if you'd had all of that five years ago!"

"Ha!" snorts the man. "If I'd had e-mail five years ago I would be sweeping floors at Microsoft and making $5.15 an hour."

Awesome Landcape Shots


Life is a piece of cake

Sometimes, we wonder,
 "What did I do to deserve this",
or "Why did God have to do this to me".
 Here is an explanation!!!

A daughter is telling her Mother how everything is going wrong.
 She's failing algebra, her boyfriend
broke up with her, and her best friend is
moving away.

Meanwhile, her Mother is baking a cake.
She asks her daughter if she
would like a snack, and the daughter says,
"Oh, yes! Absolutely, Mom,
I love your cake."

"Okay, then! Here, have some cooking oil,"
her Mother offers. "Yuck" says her daughter.
"How about a couple of raw eggs?"

"Gross, Mom!"

"Would you like some flour then?
 Or maybe a little baking soda?"

"Mom, those are all yucky!"

To which the mother replies:
 "Yes, all those things seem bad all by
themselves. But when they are put
together in the right way, they make
a wonderfully delicious cake! God works in much the same way. Many times we wonder why He would let us go through such bad and difficult times. But God knows that when He puts these things all in His order, they always work for good! We just have to trust Him and, eventually, they will all make something wonderful!

God is crazy about you. He sends you flowers every spring and a sunrise every morning. Whenever you want to talk, He'll listen.
He can live anywhere in the universe,
 and He chose to live in your heart.

Hope your day is a "piece of cake!"

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