The Hormone Guide

Reality of LIFE and LOVE

ONE. Give people more than they expect and do it cheerfully.

 

TWO. Marry a man/woman you love to talk to. As you get older, their conversational skills will be as important as any other. 

 

THREE. Don't believe all you hear, spend all you have or sleep all you want. 

 

FOUR. When you say, 'I love you,' mean it.

 

FIVE. When you say, 'I'm sorry,' look the person in the eye. 

 

SIX. Be engaged at least six months before you get married.

 

SEVEN. Believe in love at first sight.

 

EIGHT. Never laugh at anyone's dreams. People who don't have dreams don't have much.

 

NINE. Love deeply and passionately. You might get hurt but it's the only way to live life completely 

 

TEN.. In disagreements, fight fairly. No name calling.

 

ELEVEN. Don't judge people by their relatives. 

 

TWELVE. Talk slowly but think quickly. 

 

THIRTEEN!. When someone asks you a question you don't want to answer, smile and ask, 'Why do you want to know?'

 

FOURTEEN. Remember that great love and great achievements involve great risk. 

 

FIFTEEN. Say 'bless you' when you hear someone sneeze.

 

SIXTEEN.. When you lose, don't lose the lesson.

 

SEVENTEEN. Remember the three R's: Respect for self; Respect for others; and Responsibility for all your actions.

 

EIGHTEEN. Don't let a little dispute injure a great friendship.

 

NINETEEN. When you realize you've made a mistake, take immediate steps to correct it.

 

TWENTY. Smile when picking up the phone. The caller will hear it in your voice.

 

TWENTY-ONE. Spend some time alone.

13 REASONS FOR LIVING

10 ways to love

Twenty-Four Things to Always Remember & One Thing to Never Forget

Your presence is a present to the world
You're unique and one of a kind
Your life can be what you want it to be
Take the days just one at a time

Count your blessings, not your troubles
You'll make it through with whatever comes along
Within you are so many answers
Understand, have courage, be strong

Don't put limits on yourself
So many dreams are waiting to be realized
Decisions are too important to leave to chance
Reach for your peak, your goal, your prize

Nothing wastes more energy than worrying
The longer one carries a problem
The heavier it gets
Don't take things too seriously
Live a life of serenity
Not a life of regrets

Remember that a little love goes a long way
Remember that a lot goes for ever
Remember that friendship is a wise investment
Life's treasures are people together

Realize that it's never too late
Do ordinary things in an extraordinary way
Have health, hope and happiness
Take the time to wish upon a star

And don't ever forget
For even a day
How very special you are

This poem was taken from book
"The Douglas Pagels Collection"
written by Douglas Pagels ©

The Big Ship that Landed on an Island

There was once a big ship that landed on an Island.
The Captain said to the people: "Dear passengers, we will anchor here for you to gather provision and admire the nature and we shall move on with our journey in a few hours time".
All passengers got off and roamed around the island in groups.

• Some 'Wise' gentlemen and ladies walked peacefully, collected some souvenirs and food for the journey and returned quickly to the ship. Since they were the first ones back, they got the best and comfortable places on the ship.
• The second group of 'Forgetful' people walked, played and enjoyed their time. They admired the island and explored its nature. But soon they remembered the ship, so they ran back, without any food and souvenirs. Coming on board, they were tired, but alas the best seats were taken, so they had to do with the less comfortable ones.
• The third group of 'Greedy and Lustful' people got amazed by the wonders of this island and they began to collect its plants and precious stones. After a while, having heard the call of their captain, they started to head back to the ship, carrying plants, stones and jewelry of all colors and value. However, the heaviness of the treasure they eagerly wanted to bring back slowed their return, and by the time they reached the shore, the boat had already left.
• And finally, some 'Aimless and Narrow-Minded' people, convinced themselves that the island was all there is and the ship was just something they had imagined. They thus explored the island and built for themselves houses. The boat, of course left them to perish on the island and to be forgotten by everyone.

Similarly, on our journey to Allah, The Creator, we have landed on this island, called the World (Dunya).

• Some 'Wise' gentlemen and ladies will walk around and collect good deeds, love and knowledge of Allah and quickly return to The Creator. They of course will be handed paradise, the best of it!
• The second group of 'Forgetful' people will get distracted by the world (dunya) until their last moment. They will then repent at the last minute. Perhaps they will make it and get the lowest levels of Jannah.
• The third group of 'Greedy and Lustful' people will be amazed by the world (dunya), and get attracted by its temporary and fake beauty. They will indulge in desire and food and be illusioned by it. Perhaps, a call will bring them back to realization, but alas, the attraction will be too much to leave behind and they will miss the ship of salvation.
• And finally, some 'Aimless and Narrow-Minded' people will just ignore the journey to Allah and pretend that this world is all there is. They will take their houses as their homes and their desires as god. Indeed history as seen many people as such, but no one remembers them. They have been left in hell.

So, my friend... The ship is waiting, please jump on board! Your Creator Allah is calling you:
Oh man! surely you must strive to your Lord, a hard striving, until you meet Him. (84:6).

More Than Amazing Friend

I wish you could see all the feelings that are deep inside of me,

Love when you are here by my side and I hate when you leave,

All the questions that are floating inside the depths of my mind,

How do I make you understand that you are more than amazing,

Everything that my life has been in need of through all the years,

Want to be there with you through all the laughter and the tears,

Holding me close then you push me away I am feeling so confused,

Do I stay by your side or just walk away and forget words I said,

So I just keep pushing forward hoping for a little something more,

I stand here waiting and wondering what you really want from me,

Just a little kiss on the cheek and quickly I felt something deep inside,

Laying here just dreaming of what having your love would be like,

Trying to hide what I am really feeling think that it is a little to late now,

You know everything that my heart is truely feeling when I am with you,

You have me in a whirl you came and rocked my little world,

Taking your heart and my promise is this to be oh so careful with it,

Knowing you were once broken and I am hoping to mend your heart,

Just tell me what I can do so that I can be the one next to you in the end,

Holding you close just to let you know in the end that it will get better,

Here I will stay through the sunny days or through the stormy weather,

Please just let me know what your heart is really feeling inside it for me.

How To Build Relationships With Others?

From the most important principles that should be followed when building relationships with people are: Correct the relationship between yourself and Allah and Allah will then correct the relationship between yourself and others. Studies have proved that every individual has his own unique pattern of understanding and that patterns are usually one of the following: A visual pattern, i.e. one looks at the world and deals with it from a physical point of view. A hearing pattern, i.e. one looks at the world and deals with it based on the words that one hears (one better understands by hearing). An emotion-based pattern, i.e. one looks at the world through one's emotions and inner feelings.If you succeed in understanding how a particular individual perceives things (i.e., which pattern one emphasizes), then you can more easily achieve harmony and understanding between the two of you, as well as achieve confidence in your relationship.Put yourself in the place of others and let them hear from you what you like to hear from them, and behave with them the way you like them to behave with you. Always keep smiling, especially during difficult situations and incidents. Keep your calm and self control when provoked. Always be sensitive to feelings of others, their rights and their needs. Choose your words carefully, especially during the first encounter. Be cheerful when speaking and beware of dull facial expressions and tough looks even if your words are very nice. When the atmosphere is not appropriate to talk about a particular subject, then it is better to end the talk about that subject in a courteous way and postpone it to a more appropriate time. Decorate your talk with jokes and proverbs without making this overwhelming in your talk, and tell only the truth. This will induce an interactive discussion. Give away gifts even if small ones and rush to help others even if in little ways, because these are means of winning hearts and of building relationships. It is related in Adab al-Mufrad of Al-Bukhari that the Prophet (may peace and blessing be upon him) said: "Give gifts as it will create love amongst you." Spread Salam (Islamic greeting) and reply to a greeting with a better one. This is a key to winning others' hearts, so be eager to own this key. Keep your promises and be truthful in your talk. This will make others love you even when you cannot accomplish what they want. Be generous within your means. Even whatever little that you may give will put you in a high position in the hearts of people. No one can win the hearts of others while he is described as stingy and not generous. Be simple and spontaneous in dealing with others. Being organized in your life will make you win others' respect, even that of your enemies. Be clean in your body, mouth and clothing, be stylish without exaggeration, and put on a nice fragrance; all these will make others that are dealing with you more comfortable, instead of making them avoid you. These principles can be applied under all circumstances and in all roles - at work, at home, with our husband or our wife, our father, our sons, our friends, or with strangers

Who is this? U? ME? HUM?

The day I saw this picture, I had some kind of thoughts. I have been thinking about this picture from then on. The specialty of this picture is that the half of it is always true with all of us, all the time and in all the situations.The left half of the picture is in no colour mood with tears rolling down the eyes. In contrast, the right side of the face is in vibrant colours with a smiling face. So, a person can either be in a sad or in a happy mood and all the other moods according to me will for sure fall in one of the two categories.

Recently I came across a question in a book- Two men coming out of coal mines with one person's face being dirty and the other person's face clean. Now who do you think will wash the face? Obviously, the man with the dirty face, RIGHT? But you will be surprised, the answer actually was the other way. The man with clean face washes his face. The man with dirty face looks at the clean face of the other person and assumes his face to be in the same condition too. But the man with clean face looks at the dirty face of the other person and assuming his face to be in the same condition and washes his face.

The purpose of me discussing this question here is to say that- "The life is absolutely the way we look at it and not actually what we are.. In the very miserable condition if we can rejoice over others happiness we can find happiness too. Life can be miserable in our happiest moments if we look at the ugly side of the life and suffer for it". Just observe- even the picture has to say that the dull face has little space to occupy compared to the brighter one. Its not exactly half.

The bottom line is- Try to be happy always, look at the brighter side of the picture even in your darker part of life. YOU, ME AUR HUM, everybody has to see life in both colours but always try to focus on true bright colours of it.

The Most Powerful Three Words

The following three-word phrases can enrich every relationship. Maybe i need to hear some of these right now...

*I'll Be There *If you have ever had to call a friend in the middle of the night, to take asick child to hospital, or when your car has broken down some miles fromhome, you will know how good it feels to hear the phrase " I'll be there. " Being there for another person is the greatest gift we can give. When we'retruly present for other people, important things happen to them & us. We arerenewed in love and friendship. We are restored emotionally and spiritually. Being there is at the very core of civility.

*I Miss You *
Perhaps more marriages could be saved & strengthened if couples simply &sincerely say to each other "I miss you." This powerful affirmation tells partners they are wanted, needed, desired & loved. Consider how ecstatic youwould feel, if you received an unexpected phone call from your spouse in themiddle of your workday, just to say "I miss you."

*I Respect You / I Trust You *Respect and trust is another way of showing love. It conveys the feelingthat another person is a true equal. If you talk to your children as if theywere adults you will strengthen the bonds & become close friends. This applies to all interpersonal relationships.

*Maybe You're Right *
This phrase is highly effective in diffusing an argument and restoringfrayed emotions. The flip side to "maybe you're right" is the humility of admitting maybe "I'm wrong". Let's face it. When you have a heated argumentwith someone, all you do is cement the other person's point of view. They,or you, will not change their stance and you run the risk of seriously damaging the relationship between you. Saying "maybe you're right" can openthe door to further explore the subject, in which you may then have theopportunity to get your view across in a more rational manner.

*Please Forgive Me *
Many broken relationships could be restored and healed if people would admittheir mistakes and ask for forgiveness. All of us are vulnerable to faultsand failures. A man should never be ashamed to own up that he has been in the wrong, which is saying, in other words, that he is wiser today than hewas yesterday.

*I Thank You *
Gratitude is an exquisite form of courtesy. People who enjoy thecompanionship of good, close friends are those who don't take daily courtesies for granted. They are quick to thank their friends for their manyexpressions of kindness. On the other hand, people whose circle of friendsis severely constricted often do not have the attitude of gratitude.

*Count On Me *
A friend is one who walks in when others walk out. Loyalty is an essentialingredient for true friendship; it is the emotional glue that bonds people.Those that are rich in their relationships tend to be steady and true friends. When troubles come, a good friend is there indicating "you cancount on me."

*Let Me Help *
The best of friends see a need and try to fill it. When they spot a hurtthey do what they can to heal it. Without being asked, they pitch in and help.

*Go For It *
We are all unique individuals. Don't try to get your friends to conform toyour ideals. Support them in pursuing their interests, no matter how weirdthey seem to you. Everyone has dreams, dreams that are unique to that person only. Support and encourage your friends to follow their dreams. Tell themto "go for it."

*I Love You *
Perhaps the most important three words that you can say. Telling someonethat you truly love them satisfies a person's deepest emotional needs. The need to belong, to feel appreciated and to be wanted. Your spouse, yourchildren, your friends and you, all need to hear those three little words "I love you."

Dont forget your sisters!

A young wife sat on a sofa on a hot humid day,
drinking iced tea and visiting with her Mother. As
they talked about life, about marriage, about the
responsibilities of life and the obligations of
adulthood, the mother clinked the ice cubes in her
glass thoughtfully and turned a clear, sober glance
upon her daughter

'Don't forget your Sisters,' she advised, swirling
the tea leaves to the bottom of her glass. 'They'll
be more important as you get older. No matter how
much you love your husband, no matter how much you
love the children you may have, you are still going
to need Sisters. Remember to go places with them now
and then; do things with them.'

'Remember that 'Sisters' means ALL the women...
your girlfriends, your daughters, and all your other
women relatives too. 'You'll need other women. Women
always do.'

What a funny piece of advice!' the young woman
thought. Haven't I just gotten married?
Haven't I just joined the couple-world? I'm now a
married woman, for goodness sake! A grownup! Surely
my husband and the family we may start will be all I
need to make my life worthwhile!'
But she listened to her Mother. She kept contact
with her Sisters and made more women friends each
year. As the years tumbled by, one after another,
she gradually came to understand that her Mom really
knew what she was talking about. As time and nature
work their changes and their mysteries upon a woman,
Sisters are the mainstays of her life.
After more than 50 years of living in this world,
here is what I've learned:
THIS SAYS IT ALL:

Time passes.
Life happens.
Distance separates.
Children grow up.
Jobs come and go.
Love waxes and wanes.
Men don't do what they're supposed to do.
Hearts break.
Parents die.
Colleagues forget favors.
Careers end.
BUT.........
Sisters are there, no matter how much time and how
many miles are
between you. A girl friend is never farther away
than needing her can reach.
When you have to walk that lonesome valley and you
have to walk it by yourself, the women in your life
will be on the valley's rim, cheering you on,
praying for you, pulling for you, intervening on
your behalf, and waiting with open arms at the
valley's end.
Sometimes, they will even break the rules and walk
beside you...Or come in and carry you out.

Girlfriends, daughters, granddaughters,
daughters-in-law, sisters, sisters-in-law, Mothers,
Grandmothers, aunties, nieces, cousins, and extended
family, all bless our life!
The world wouldn't be the same without women, and
neither would I. When we began this adventure called
womanhood, we had no idea of the incredible joys or
sorrows that lay ahead. Nor did we know how much we
would need each other.
Every day, we need each other still. Pass this on
to all the women who help make your life meaningful.
I just did.

What Marriage Is

Marriage is the joining of two bodies and two minds
Past mistakes are unwanted and better left behind
From this day forth you must take care of each other
You'll learn to draw strength each day from one another

The first year is hardest but you must learn to adapt
Find your middle ground and the rest will work out
It's a beautiful journey if you are dedicated
Time is your friend and will keep you educated
Learn from mistakes and heed this advice

Never bring them up and never try them twice
Appreciate each other and be verbally kind
Each day when the sun sets leave your anger behind
As your journey progresses and the children arrive
Remember to keep your marriage alive

Your children will grow up and leave the nest
Make sure your marriage doesn't die from loneliness
By following these words you'll find marriage is bliss
And you'll find there is no better place than this
Home is meant to be your soft place to fall
And the love you project will engulf it all

The Duck & the Devil

There was a little boy visiting his grandparents on their farm. He was given a slingshot to play with out in the woods. He practiced in the woods,but he could never hit the target. Getting a little discouraged, he headed back for dinner. As he was walking back he saw Grandma's pet duck. Just out of impulse, he let the slingshot fly, hit the duck square in the head and killed it. He was shocked and grieved!
In a panic, he hid the dead duck in the wood pile, only to see his sister watching! Fatima had seen it all, but she said nothing. After lunch the next day Grandma said, ' Fatima, let's wash the dishes.' But Fatima said, 'Grandma, Ahmed told me he wanted to help in the kitchen.' Then she whispered to him,'Remember the duck?' So Ahmed did the dishes. Later that day, Grandpa asked if the children wanted to go fishing and Grandma said, 'I'm sorry but I need Fatima to help make supper.' Fatima just smiled and said, 'Well, that's all right because Ahmed told me he wanted to help.' She whispered again, 'Remember the duck?' So Fatima went fishing and Ahmed stayed to help.
After several days of Ahmed doing both his chores and Fatima's, he finally couldn't stand it any longer. He came to Grandma and confessed that he had killed the duck. Grandma knelt down, gave him a hug and said, 'Sweetheart, I know. You see, I was standing at the window and I saw the whole thing, but because I love you, I forgave you. I was just wondering how long you would let Fatima make a slave of you.'
Thought for the day and every day thereafter? Whatever is in your past, whatever you have done... and the devil keeps throwing it up in your face (lying, cheating, debt, fear, bad habits, hatred,anger, bitterness, etc.)...whatever it is...You need to know that Allah was standing at the window and He saw the whole thing. He has seen your whole life. He wants you to know that He loves you and that you are forgiven. He's just wondering how long you will let the devil make a slave of you.
The great thing about Allah is that when you ask for forgiveness, He not only forgives you, but He forgets. It is by Allah's grace and mercy that we are saved. Go ahead and make a difference in someone's life today. Share this with a friend and always remember: Allah is at the window!

Are You A Reason, A Season, Or A Lifetime?

Pay attention to what you read. After you read this, you will know the reason it was sent to you! People come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime. When you figure out which one it is, you will know what to do for each person.
When someone is in your life for a REASON. It is usually to meet a need you have expressed. They have come to assist you through a difficulty, to provide you with guidance and support, to aid you physically, emotionally, or spiritually. They may seem like a godsend, and they are! They are there for the reason you need them to be. Then, without any wrongdoing on your part, or at an inconvenient time, this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end. Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk away. Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand. What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled, their work is done. The prayer you sent up has been answered. And now it is time to move on.
Then people come into your life for a SEASON. Because your turn has come to share, grow, or learn. They bring you an experience of peace, or make you laugh. They may teach you something you have never done. They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy. Believe it! It is real! But, only for a season.
LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons: things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation. Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person, and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life. It is said that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant.

A Day In a Woman's Life...

A man came home from work and found his three children outside, still in their pyjamas, playing in the mud, with empty food boxes and wrappers strewn all around the front yard. The door of his wife's car was open, as was the front door to the house and there was no sign of the dog. Proceeding into the entry, he found an even bigger mess. A lamp had been knocked over, and the throw rug was wadded against one wall. In the front room the TV was loudly blaring on the cartoon channel, and the family room was strewn with toys and various items of clothing. In the kitchen, dishes filled the sink, breakfast food was spilled on the counter, the fridge door was open wide, dog food was spilled on the floor, a broken glass lay under the table, and a small pile of sand was spread by the back door.

He quickly headed up the stairs, stepping over toys and more piles of clothes, looking for his wife. He was worried she might be ill, ;or that something serious had happened. He was met with a small trickle of water as it made its way out the bathroom door. As he peered inside he found wet towels, scummy soap and more toys strewn ove r the floor. Miles of toilet paper lay in a heap and toothpaste had been smeared over the mirror and walls. As he rushed to the bedroom, he found his wife still curled up in the bed in her pyjamas, reading a novel.

She looked up at him, smiled, and asked how his day went. He looked at her bewildered and asked, "What happened here today?" She again smiled and answered, "You know every day when you come home from work and you ask me what in the world did I do today?" "Yes," was his incredulous reply. She answered, "Well, today I didn't do it."

What is love?

A little something to brighten your day. Touching words from the mouth of babes.
What does Love mean? A group of professional people posed this question to a group of 4 to 8 Year-olds, "What does love mean?" The answers they got were broader and deeper than anyone could have imagined. See what you think:

• "When my grandmother got arthritis, she couldn't bend over and paint her toenails anymore. So my grandfather does it for her all the time, even when his hands got arthritis too. That's love." Rebecca- age 8
• "When someone loves you, the way they say your name is different. You just know that your name is safe in their mouth." Billy - age 4
• "Love is when a girl puts on perfume and a boy puts on shaving cologne and they go out and smell each other." Karl - age 5
• "Love is when you go out to eat and give somebody most of Your french fries without making them give you any of theirs." Chrissy -age 6
• "Love is what makes you smile when you're tired." Terri - age 4
• "Love is when my mommy makes coffee for my daddy and she takes a sip before giving it to him, to make sure the taste is OK." Danny - age 7
• "Love is when you kiss all the time. Then when you get tired of kissing, you still want to be together and you talk more. My Mommy and Daddy are like that. They look gross when they kiss" Emily - age 8
• "Love is what's in the room with you at Christmas if you stop opening presents and listen." Bobby - age 7 (Wow!)
• "If you want to learn to love better, you should start with a friend who you hate," Nikka - age 6 (we need a few million more Nikka's on this planet)
• "Love is when you tell a guy you like his shirt, then he wears it everyday." Noelle - age 7
• "Love is like a little old woman and a little old man who are still friends even after they know each other so well." Tommy - age 6
• "During my piano recital, I was on a stage and I was scared. I looked at all the people watching me and saw my daddy waving and smiling. He was the only one doing that. I wasn't scared anymore." Cindy - age 8
• "My mommy loves me more than anybody. You don't see anyone else kissing me to sleep at night." Clare - age 6
• "Love is when Mommy gives Daddy the best piece of chicken." Elaine-age 5
• "Love is when Mommy sees Daddy smelly and sweaty and still says he is handsomer than Robert Redford." Chris - age 7
• "Love is when your puppy licks your face even after you left him alone all day." Mary Ann - age 4
• "I know my older sister loves me because she gives me all her old clothes and has to go out and buy new ones." Lauren - age 4
• "When you love somebody, your eyelashes go up and down and little stars come out of you." (what an imagination) Karen - age 7
• "Love is when Mommy sees Daddy on the toilet and she doesn't think it's gross." Mark - age 6
• "You really shouldn't say 'I love you' unless you mean it. But if you mean it, you should say it a lot. People forget." Jessica - age 8

And the final one -- Author and lecturer Leo Buscaglia once talked about a contest he was asked to judge. The purpose of the Contest was to find the most caring child.
The winner was a four year old child whose next door neighbor was an elderly gentleman who had recently lost his wife Upon seeing the man cry, the little boy went into the old gentleman's' yard, climbed onto his lap, and just sat there. When his Mother asked what he had said to the neighbor, the little boy said, "Nothing, I just helped him cry"

What Breaks the Relationship?

MISTRUST

Trust is a very important factor for all relationships. When trust is broken, it is the end of the relationship. Lack of trust leads to suspicion, suspicion generates anger, anger causes enmity and enmity may result in separation.A telephone operator told me that one day she received a phone call. She answered, 'Public Utilities Board.' There was silence. She repeated, 'PUB.' There was still no answer. When she was going to cut off the line, she heard a lady's voice, 'Oh, so this is PUB. Sorry, I got the number from my Husband's pocket but I do not know whose number it is.'Without mutual trust, just imagine what will happen to the couple if the telephone operator answered with just 'hello' instead of 'PUB'.

POINTING FINGERS

A man asked his father-in-law, 'Many people praised you for a successful marriage. Could you please share with me your secret?'
The father-in-law answered in a smile, 'Never criticize your wife for her shortcomings or when she does something wrong. Always bear in mind that because of her shortcomings and weaknesses, she could not find a better husband than you.'We all look forward to being loved and respected. Many people are afraid of losing face. Generally, when a person makes a mistake, he would look around to find a scapegoat to point the finger at. This is the start of a war. We should always remember that when we point one finger at a person, the other four fingers are pointing at ourselves.If we forgive the others, others will ignore our mistake too.

CREATING PERFECT RELATIONSHIPS?

A person visited the government matchmaker for marriage, SDU, and requested 'I am looking for a spouse. Please help me to find a suitable one.'
The SDU officer said, 'Your requirements, please.'
'Oh, good looking, polite, humorous, sporty, knowledgeable, good in singing and dancing. Willing to accompany me the whole day at home during my leisure hour, if I don't go out. Telling me interesting stories when I need companion for conversation and be silent when I want to rest.'
The officer listened carefully and replied, 'I understand you need television.'There is a saying that a perfect match can only be found between a blind wife and a deaf husband, because the blind wife cannot see the faults of the husband and the deaf husband cannot hear the nagging of the wife. Many couples are blind and deaf at the courting stage and dream of perpetual perfect relationship. Unfortunately, when the excitement of love wears off, they wake up a ND discover that marriage is not a bed of roses. The nightmare begins.

OVERPOWERING TENDENCY

Many relationships fail because one party tries to overpower another, or demands too much. People in love tend to think that love will conquer all and their spouses will change the bad habits after marriage. Actually, this is not the case. There is a Chinese saying which carries the meaning that 'It is easier to reshape a mountain or a river than a person's character.'It is not easy to change. Thus, having high expectation on changing the spouse character will cause disappointment and unpleasantness. It would be less painful to change ourselves and lower our expectations.

WRONG SPEECH

There is a Chinese saying which carries the meaning that 'A speech will either prosper or ruin a nation.' Many relationships break off because of wrong speech. When a couple is too close with each other, we always forget mutual respect and courtesy. We may say anything without considering if it would hurt the other party.A friend and her millionaire husband visited their construction site. A worker who wore a helmet saw her and shouted, 'Hi, Emily! Remember me? We used to date in the secondary school.'
On the way home, her millionaire husband teased her, 'Luckily you married me. Otherwise you will be the wife of a construction worker.'
She answered, 'You should appreciate that you married me. Otherwise, he will be the millionaire and not you.'Frequently exchanging these remarks plants the seed for a bad relationship. It's like a broken egg - cannot be reversed.

BEING IMPATIENT

This is a true story which happened in the States. A man came out of his home to admire his new truck. To his puzzlement, his three-year-old son was happily hammering dents into the shiny paint of the truck. The man ran to his son, knocked him away, and hammered the little boy's hands into pulp as punishment. When the father calmed down, he rushed his son to the hospital.Although the doctor tried desperately to save the crushed bones, he finally had to amputate the fingers from both the boy's hands. When the boy woke up from the surgery and saw his bandaged stubs, he innocently said, 'Daddy, I'm sorry about your truck.' Then he asked, 'but when are my fingers going to grow back?' The father went home and committed suicide. Think about this story the next time someone steps on your feet or you wish to take revenge. Think first before you lose your patience with someone you love. Trucks can be repaired. Broken bones and hurt feelings often can't. Too often we fail to recognize the difference between the person and the performance. We forget that forgiveness is greater than revenge.People make mistakes. We are allowed to make mistakes. But the actions we take while in a rage will haunt us forever.

5 Proven Tips For a Happier Marriage

Point 1: Be independent.
Just because you marry, it doesn't mean you must embrace everything about your partner. Sometimes, you forget about how different you two are because you've been together for so long. Don't lose your uniqueness because it's the same thing that attracted both you and your partner in the first place. Try to take on different interests and encourage your partner to do so too.
Point 2: Never be angry at the same time.
When you're angry, you hear nothing else and you don't care about anything else. If you find that both you and your partner are angry, try to have some space. Calm down. Then talk. Be sensitive to each other's ups and downs. Talk through the problem and hear each other out. Abandon the whole world rather than each other. And never go to sleep without settling the argument. Most importantly, never yell at each other unless the house is on fire.
Point 3: If you have to disagree, do it lovingly.
There will be lots of times when you and your spouse won't agree at all in some aspects. Don't make your point sound like a criticism to your partner. It doesn't matter who is wrong or right. Always bear in mind that an argument doesn't need a winner or a loser.
Point 4: Never bring up mistakes of the past.
Whenever something goes wrong, do not rub past issues in. Don't dwell over the past such that you become blind with the wonderful things ahead of your relationship.
Point 5: At least once every day, try to say one thoughtful or complimentary thing to your partner.
When a couple always spends time with each other, they often forget about courtesy. "Take the trash out. Do the laundry." Isn't there something missing in those phrases? Perhaps putting "Please" before each sentence would make it sound so much better. Never take each other for granted.
Showing constantly that you both like each other will help keep your relationship fresh. Even something as simple as complementing on your spouse's looks or buying little unexpected gifts can help. Look for the things that would make your partner feel appreciated.
How do you live by the guidelines stated earlier? Lower your pride. But don't get me wrong. Pride is a good thing. It keeps your head high in public. It's not a bad thing to have pride in someone or something. But in private, when you're with your partner, keep the pride level down; because it becomes a wall your partner would have to overcome.

20 THINGS TO REMEMBER

1. Faith is the ability to not panic.
2. If you worry, you didn't pray. If you pray, don't worry.
3. As a creation of God, prayer is kind of like calling home every day.
4. Blessed are the flexible, for they shall not be bent out of shape.
5. When we get tangled up in our problems, be still. God wants us to be still so He can untangle the knot.
6. Do the math. Count your blessings.
7. God wants spiritual fruits, not religious nuts.
8. Dear God: I have a problem. It's me.
9. Silence is often misinterpreted, but never misquoted.
10. Laugh every day ... it's like inner jogging.
11. The most important things in your home are the people.
12. Growing old is inevitable; growing up is optional.
13. There is no key to happiness. The door is always open.
14. A grudge is a heavy thing to carry.
15. He who dies with the most toys is still dead.
16. We do not remember days, but moments. Life moves too fast, so enjoy your precious moments.
17. Nothing is real to you until you experience it. Otherwise, it's just hearsay.
18. It is all right to sit on your pity pot every now and again. Just be sure to flush when you are done.
19. Surviving and living your life successfully requires courage. The goals and dreams you're seeking require courage and Risk-taking. Learn from the turtle -- it only makes progress when it sticks out its neck.
    Be more concerned with your character than your reputation. Your character is what you really are, while your reputation is merely what others think you are.

You are what you Read!

"You are the same today as you're going to be in five years except for two things, the people you meet and the books you read".
Hang around thinkers; you'll be a better thinker.
Hang around givers; you'll be a better giver.
Hang around workers; you'll be a better worker.
Hang around a bunch of thumb sucking, complaining, griping boneheads; and you will be a better thumb sucking, complaining, griping bonehead.
Now. With that said... how many of you are under sixteen yet? Great. How do you like an idea that you might be driving a Cadillac car when you're sixteen? I got it for you.When my son Jaffer was your age, he was quite as excited as you. I said, "Jaffer, do you want to have a car when you're sixteen?"

"Yes."

"Do you want me to help you buy that car?"
"Yes sir, dad."

"Alright, son, we're going to do it, but the free ride's over. No more allowance. I'm going to give you a way to make a lot of money. Here is the deal. I am going to pick out books for you to read. There will be motivational books, history books, religion books, inspirational books; and every time I give you a book, you give me a book report. Every time I get a book report, I'll put money in your car fund. Another book report; more money in the car fund. In two years if you read in style, you'll drive in style. But if you read like a bum, you're going to drive like a bum."Overnight he developed a fantastic hunger for reading. The first book I had him read was Dale Carnegie's "How to Win Friends and Influence People." Now the first day he came down and said, "Dad, dad, there's a whole chapter in here on smiling and shaking hands." And he shook my hand, shook my hand - first sign of life in fourteen years. Woohoo! And he smiled at me.Then I had him read a book named 'Peshawar Nights' on Shia beliefs and then 'Quran, Bible and Science' of Dr. Maurice Bucaille. One Friday, when we were going to Masjid, I asked, "Jaffer, how are you getting along with Dr. Bucaille's book?"

He said with overflowing enthusiasm, "Dad, dad", and he softly hit my back. Imagine that, he hit my back for the first time. Then he said, "Everybody specially high school Muslim students ought to have to read that book."

"Alhamdulillah", I said to myself, "That was a sign he was beginning to think about somebody other than himself".Well, he read 22 books before going to college. Did he buy a car? No. He kept the money to buy more books and instead used my car and my gas. But It was worth it. Then he went off to college, and I got one of the greatest experiences of my life. Jaffer goes off to college but he writes me a "Dear Dad" postcard every week for four years. You know what I used to do when I would get some of the cards? I would put my head on my desk and cry with happiness. Do you know why? He was thinking thoughts that I never dreamed a young person of his age could think. Thanks to his fantastic craving for reading. Now he didn't only have the full meaning of the books he read, but he had wise thoughts of his own in his mind. I would like to read you a couple of his cards from college to me."Dear Dad, yesterday someone insulted me in front of the whole class. I was furious at first, but then I forgave him. You know why, dad? I remembered Imam Ali's saying in Nahjul Balagha which I had read just the night before: Imam Ali said: 'So whoever of you who knows about others' faults, be restrained by what he knows about his own faults'. Love, Jaffer".Another of his card said: "Dear Dad, I have Just finished reading 'Al-Aamali of Sheikh Mufid'. This book changed my weekends. Before getting hold of this book, I used to spend it on idle talks, parties and sittings with gossipers in the college. No longer now. In 'Al-Aamali', I read that there was an idle jester in Madina who used to cause people laugh by his pranks and jokes. One day that jester came and pulled Imam Sajjad (as)'s cloak to make people laugh. You know Dad, Imam was totally composed and he did not even become angry, except that he said to him: 'For Allah, there is a fixed Day in which the idle vain doers will be in loss". Dad, I don't want to be like this idle jester on weekends. So I joined Islamic Crescent Group from the neighborhood Masjid that visits hospitals every Sunday to distribute fruits, flowers and words of kindness to the sick. Isn't that better idea Dad? Salams, Jaffer."After reading this card, I could not control my tears. Does not good reading create miracles?

Wish you Happy Reading!