Saturday, June 28, 2008
Love and Marriage
A Student asks a sage, "What is love?"The sage replied, "in order to answer your question, go to the wheat field and choose the biggest wheat and come back. But the rule is: you can go through it only once and cannot turn back to pick."
The student went to the field, going thru first row, he saw one big wheat, but he wondered.... may be there is a bigger one later. Then he saw another bigger one... but may be there is an even bigger one waiting for him. Later, when he finished more than half of the wheat field, he started to realise that the wheat is not as big as the previous one he saw, he knew he had missed the biggest one, and he regretted.
So, he ended up went back to the sage with an empty hand. The sage told him, "...this is love... you keep looking for a better one, but when later you realise, you have already missed the person...."
"What is marriage then?" the student asked.The sage said, "in order to answer your question, go to the corn field and choose the biggest corn and come back. But the rule is same you can go through it only once and cannot turn back to pick."The student went to the corn field, this time he is careful not to repeat the previous mistake, when he reach the middle of the field, he picked one medium corn that he felt would satisfy, and came back to the sage.
The sage told him, "this time you brought back a corn.... you looked for one that is just nice, and you had faith and believed this is the best one you get.... this is marriage."
This is so true and amazing.
The student went to the field, going thru first row, he saw one big wheat, but he wondered.... may be there is a bigger one later. Then he saw another bigger one... but may be there is an even bigger one waiting for him. Later, when he finished more than half of the wheat field, he started to realise that the wheat is not as big as the previous one he saw, he knew he had missed the biggest one, and he regretted.
So, he ended up went back to the sage with an empty hand. The sage told him, "...this is love... you keep looking for a better one, but when later you realise, you have already missed the person...."
"What is marriage then?" the student asked.The sage said, "in order to answer your question, go to the corn field and choose the biggest corn and come back. But the rule is same you can go through it only once and cannot turn back to pick."The student went to the corn field, this time he is careful not to repeat the previous mistake, when he reach the middle of the field, he picked one medium corn that he felt would satisfy, and came back to the sage.
The sage told him, "this time you brought back a corn.... you looked for one that is just nice, and you had faith and believed this is the best one you get.... this is marriage."
This is so true and amazing.
I've learned...
I've learned that 99% of the time when something isn't workingin your house, one of your kids did it
Traffice Jam!!!
A driver is stuck in a traffic jam on the interstate. Nothing is moving. Suddenly a man knocks on the window. The driver rolls down his window and asks, 'What's going on?'
'Terrorists down the road have kidnapped George W. Bush and Dick Cheney. They're asking for a $100 million ransom. Otherwise they're going to douse them with gasoline and set them on fire. We're going from car to car, taking up a collection.'
The driver asks, 'How much is everyone giving, on average?'
'Most people are giving about a gallon.'
'Terrorists down the road have kidnapped George W. Bush and Dick Cheney. They're asking for a $100 million ransom. Otherwise they're going to douse them with gasoline and set them on fire. We're going from car to car, taking up a collection.'
The driver asks, 'How much is everyone giving, on average?'
'Most people are giving about a gallon.'
Feeling Overwhelmed?
Have you ever found yourself walking into the room and can't find your keys? Or forgetting why you entered the room in the first place? Then you begin wondering what has happened to your short-term memory? Do you end up feeling overwhelmed by information, people, to-do lists and demands on your time that our brains simply close down?
It's a phenomenon of our time. Our brains, created to respond to our environment and each other, are exponentially being taxed by the growth in information and technology. Everyone and everything is competing for your attention. We want to respond but when it's overflowing like that, the brain just "goes blind".
Engineers discovered this phenomenon when they installed hundreds of communication devices in cockpits, thinking it would improve the pilot's performance. Instead, the pilot's performance obviously decreased. Information and technology will not go away. But there are ways to deal with this, here are some:
1. Determine your priorities and focus on them. Don't let yourself be pulled into anything from meetings, to readings, to conversations that obstruct your priorities. Literally block out space on your daily to-do list for things that are important to you: from projects, to exercise, to family time. Ensure to stick to these times, without fail.
2. Say "no" to answering every message. The average individual receives around 70 phone, paper, and e-mail messages a day. Take care of those that are priority and let the rest drop off. Ignore the messages that are uninvited and unnecessary.
3. Let technology work for you in prioritizing. Screen your calls. For those who depend upon business coming in via phone and need to take every call, develop a way to shorten incoming calls. Have templates that you can use to send repetitive emails and messages, so that you do not have to re-type them each time.
4. Create a centering place. Whether it is in the silence of your car, or in your office, or closing your door, take 15 minutes per day to practice paying attention to ONE thing: your breathing, a flower, a fish tank. Just like the muscle in our bodies, the brain gets strong in the places where we train it. Train it to maintain focus!
It's a phenomenon of our time. Our brains, created to respond to our environment and each other, are exponentially being taxed by the growth in information and technology. Everyone and everything is competing for your attention. We want to respond but when it's overflowing like that, the brain just "goes blind".
Engineers discovered this phenomenon when they installed hundreds of communication devices in cockpits, thinking it would improve the pilot's performance. Instead, the pilot's performance obviously decreased. Information and technology will not go away. But there are ways to deal with this, here are some:
1. Determine your priorities and focus on them. Don't let yourself be pulled into anything from meetings, to readings, to conversations that obstruct your priorities. Literally block out space on your daily to-do list for things that are important to you: from projects, to exercise, to family time. Ensure to stick to these times, without fail.
2. Say "no" to answering every message. The average individual receives around 70 phone, paper, and e-mail messages a day. Take care of those that are priority and let the rest drop off. Ignore the messages that are uninvited and unnecessary.
3. Let technology work for you in prioritizing. Screen your calls. For those who depend upon business coming in via phone and need to take every call, develop a way to shorten incoming calls. Have templates that you can use to send repetitive emails and messages, so that you do not have to re-type them each time.
4. Create a centering place. Whether it is in the silence of your car, or in your office, or closing your door, take 15 minutes per day to practice paying attention to ONE thing: your breathing, a flower, a fish tank. Just like the muscle in our bodies, the brain gets strong in the places where we train it. Train it to maintain focus!
Saturday, June 21, 2008
Today is the “Tomorrow” that u worried about “Yesterday”.
There are two days in every week about which we should not worry, two days which should be kept free from fear and apprehension.
One of these days is Yesterday with all its mistakes and cares, its faults and blunders, its aches and pains. Yesterday has passed forever beyond our control. All the money in the world cannot bring back Yesterday. We cannot undo a single act we performed; we cannot erase a single word we said. Yesterday is gone forever.
The other day we should not worry about is Tomorrow with all itspossible adversities, its burdens, its large promise and its poorperformance; Tomorrow is also beyond our immediate control. Tomorrow's sun will rise, either in splendor or behind a mask of clouds, but it will rise. Until it does, we have no stake in Tomorrow, for it is yet to be born.
This leaves only one day, Today. Any person can fight the battle ofjust one day. It is when you and I add the burdens of those two awfuleternities Yesterday and Tomorrow that we break down. It is not the experience of Today that drives a person mad, it is there morse or bitterness of something which happened Yesterday and the dread of what Tomorrow may bring.
Let us, therefore, Live but one day at a time.....and ........make it a great week ahead!!!
One of these days is Yesterday with all its mistakes and cares, its faults and blunders, its aches and pains. Yesterday has passed forever beyond our control. All the money in the world cannot bring back Yesterday. We cannot undo a single act we performed; we cannot erase a single word we said. Yesterday is gone forever.
The other day we should not worry about is Tomorrow with all itspossible adversities, its burdens, its large promise and its poorperformance; Tomorrow is also beyond our immediate control. Tomorrow's sun will rise, either in splendor or behind a mask of clouds, but it will rise. Until it does, we have no stake in Tomorrow, for it is yet to be born.
This leaves only one day, Today. Any person can fight the battle ofjust one day. It is when you and I add the burdens of those two awfuleternities Yesterday and Tomorrow that we break down. It is not the experience of Today that drives a person mad, it is there morse or bitterness of something which happened Yesterday and the dread of what Tomorrow may bring.
Let us, therefore, Live but one day at a time.....and ........make it a great week ahead!!!
Friday, June 20, 2008
Power of Positive Talk
I remember my dad teaching me the power of language at a very young age. Not only did my dad understand that specific words affect our mental pictures, but he understood words are a powerful programming factor in lifelong success.
One particularly interesting event occurred when I was eight. As a kid, I was always climbing trees, poles, and literally hanging around upside down from the rafters of our lake house. So, it came to no surprise for my dad to find me at the top of a 30-foot tree swinging back and forth. My little eight-year-old brain didn't realize the tree could break or I could get hurt. I just thought it was fun to be up so high.
My older cousin, Tammy, was also in the same tree. She was hanging on the first big limb, about ten feet below me. Tammy's mother also noticed us at the exact time my dad did. About that time a huge gust of wind came over the tree. I could hear the leaves start to rattle and the tree begin to sway. I remember my dad's voice over the wind yell, "Bart, Hold on tightly." So I did.
The next thing I know, I heard Tammy screaming at the top of her lungs, laying flat on the ground. She had fallen out of the tree.
I scampered down the tree to safety. My dad later told me why she fell and I did not. Apparently, when Tammy's mother felt the gust of wind, she yelled out, "Tammy, don't fall!" And Tammy did fall.
My dad then explained to me that the mind has a very difficult time processing a negative image. In fact, people who rely on internal pictures cannot see a negative at all. In order for Tammy to process the command of not falling, her nine-year-old brain had to first imagine falling, then try to tell the brain not to do what it just imagined. Whereas, my eight-year-old brain instantly had an internal image of me hanging on tightly.
This concept is especially useful when you are attempting to break a habit or set a goal. You can't visualize not doing something. The only way to properly visualize not doing something is to actually find a word for what you want to do and visualize that. For example, when I was thirteen years old, I played for my junior high school football team. I tried so hard to be good, but I just couldn't get it together at that age. I remember hearing the words run through my head as I was running out for a pass, "Don't drop it!" Naturally, I dropped the ball.
My coaches were not skilled enough to teach us proper "self-talk." They just thought some kids could catch and others couldn't. I'll never make it pro, but I'm now a pretty good Sunday afternoon football player, because all my internal dialogue is positive and encourages me to win. I wish my dad had coached me playing football instead of just climbing trees. I might have had a longer football career.
Here is a very easy demonstration to teach your kids and your friends the power of a toxic vocabulary. Ask them to hold a pen or pencil. Hand it to them. Now, follow my instructions carefully. Say to them, "Okay, try to drop the pencil." Observe what they do.
Most people release their hands and watch the pencil hit the floor. You respond, "You weren't paying attention. I said TRY to drop the pencil. Now please do it again." Most people then pick up the pencil and pretend to be in excruciating pain while their hand tries but fails to drop the pencil.
The point is made. If you tell your brain you will "give it a try," you are actually telling your brain to fail. I have a "no try" rule in my house and with everyone I interact with. Either people will do it or they won't. Either they will be at the party or they won't. I'm brutal when people attempt to lie to me by using the word try. Do they think I don't know they are really telegraphing to the world they have no intention of doing it but they want me to give them brownie points for pretended effort? You will never hear the words "I'll try" come out of my mouth unless I'm teaching this concept in a seminar.
If you "try" and do something, your unconscious mind has permission not to succeed. If I truly can't make a decision I will tell the truth. "Sorry John. I'm not sure if I will be at your party or not. I've got an outstanding commitment. If that falls through, I will be here. Otherwise, I will not. Thanks for the invite." People respect honesty. So remove the word "try" from your vocabulary.
My dad also told me that psychologists claim it takes seventeen positive statements to offset one negative statement. I have no idea if it is true, but the logic holds true. It might take up to seventeen compliments to offset the emotional damage of one harsh criticism.
These are concepts that are especially useful when raising children. Ask yourself how many compliments you give yourself daily versus how many criticisms. Heck, I know you are talking to yourself all day long. We all have internal voices that give us direction.
So, are you giving yourself the 17:1 ratio or are you short changing yourself with toxic self-talk like, "I'm fat. Nobody will like me. I'll try this diet. I'm not good enough. I'm so stupid. I'm broke, etc. etc."
If our parents can set a lifetime of programming with one wrong statement, imagine the kind of programming you are doing on a daily basis with your own internal dialogue. Here is a list of Toxic Vocabulary words. Notice when you or other people use them.
BUT: Negates any words that are stated before it.
TRY: Presupposes failure.
IF: Presupposes that you may not.
MIGHT: It does nothing definite. It leaves options for your listener.
WOULD HAVE: Past tense that draws attention to things that didn't actually happen.
SHOULD HAVE: Past tense that draws attention to things that didn't actually happen (and implies guilt.)
COULD HAVE: Past tense that draws attention to things that didn't actually happen but the person tries to take credit as if it did happen.
CAN’T/DON’T: These words force the listener to focus on exactly the opposite of what you want. This is a classic mistake that parents and coaches make without knowing the damage of this linguistic error.
Examples:
Toxic phrase: "Don't drop the ball!"
Likely result: Drops the ball
Better language: "Catch the ball!"
Toxic phrase: "You shouldn't watch so much television."
Likely result: Watches more television.
Better language: "I read too much television makes people stupid. You might find yourself turning that TV off and picking up one of those books more often!"
Exercise:
Take a moment to write down all the phrases you use on a daily basis or any Toxic self-talk that you have noticed yourself using. Write these phrases down so you will begin to catch yourself as they occur and change them.
Forge a positive relationship with the world around you and the world will become a better place for you to live.
By Ralph Marston
One particularly interesting event occurred when I was eight. As a kid, I was always climbing trees, poles, and literally hanging around upside down from the rafters of our lake house. So, it came to no surprise for my dad to find me at the top of a 30-foot tree swinging back and forth. My little eight-year-old brain didn't realize the tree could break or I could get hurt. I just thought it was fun to be up so high.
My older cousin, Tammy, was also in the same tree. She was hanging on the first big limb, about ten feet below me. Tammy's mother also noticed us at the exact time my dad did. About that time a huge gust of wind came over the tree. I could hear the leaves start to rattle and the tree begin to sway. I remember my dad's voice over the wind yell, "Bart, Hold on tightly." So I did.
The next thing I know, I heard Tammy screaming at the top of her lungs, laying flat on the ground. She had fallen out of the tree.
I scampered down the tree to safety. My dad later told me why she fell and I did not. Apparently, when Tammy's mother felt the gust of wind, she yelled out, "Tammy, don't fall!" And Tammy did fall.
My dad then explained to me that the mind has a very difficult time processing a negative image. In fact, people who rely on internal pictures cannot see a negative at all. In order for Tammy to process the command of not falling, her nine-year-old brain had to first imagine falling, then try to tell the brain not to do what it just imagined. Whereas, my eight-year-old brain instantly had an internal image of me hanging on tightly.
This concept is especially useful when you are attempting to break a habit or set a goal. You can't visualize not doing something. The only way to properly visualize not doing something is to actually find a word for what you want to do and visualize that. For example, when I was thirteen years old, I played for my junior high school football team. I tried so hard to be good, but I just couldn't get it together at that age. I remember hearing the words run through my head as I was running out for a pass, "Don't drop it!" Naturally, I dropped the ball.
My coaches were not skilled enough to teach us proper "self-talk." They just thought some kids could catch and others couldn't. I'll never make it pro, but I'm now a pretty good Sunday afternoon football player, because all my internal dialogue is positive and encourages me to win. I wish my dad had coached me playing football instead of just climbing trees. I might have had a longer football career.
Here is a very easy demonstration to teach your kids and your friends the power of a toxic vocabulary. Ask them to hold a pen or pencil. Hand it to them. Now, follow my instructions carefully. Say to them, "Okay, try to drop the pencil." Observe what they do.
Most people release their hands and watch the pencil hit the floor. You respond, "You weren't paying attention. I said TRY to drop the pencil. Now please do it again." Most people then pick up the pencil and pretend to be in excruciating pain while their hand tries but fails to drop the pencil.
The point is made. If you tell your brain you will "give it a try," you are actually telling your brain to fail. I have a "no try" rule in my house and with everyone I interact with. Either people will do it or they won't. Either they will be at the party or they won't. I'm brutal when people attempt to lie to me by using the word try. Do they think I don't know they are really telegraphing to the world they have no intention of doing it but they want me to give them brownie points for pretended effort? You will never hear the words "I'll try" come out of my mouth unless I'm teaching this concept in a seminar.
If you "try" and do something, your unconscious mind has permission not to succeed. If I truly can't make a decision I will tell the truth. "Sorry John. I'm not sure if I will be at your party or not. I've got an outstanding commitment. If that falls through, I will be here. Otherwise, I will not. Thanks for the invite." People respect honesty. So remove the word "try" from your vocabulary.
My dad also told me that psychologists claim it takes seventeen positive statements to offset one negative statement. I have no idea if it is true, but the logic holds true. It might take up to seventeen compliments to offset the emotional damage of one harsh criticism.
These are concepts that are especially useful when raising children. Ask yourself how many compliments you give yourself daily versus how many criticisms. Heck, I know you are talking to yourself all day long. We all have internal voices that give us direction.
So, are you giving yourself the 17:1 ratio or are you short changing yourself with toxic self-talk like, "I'm fat. Nobody will like me. I'll try this diet. I'm not good enough. I'm so stupid. I'm broke, etc. etc."
If our parents can set a lifetime of programming with one wrong statement, imagine the kind of programming you are doing on a daily basis with your own internal dialogue. Here is a list of Toxic Vocabulary words. Notice when you or other people use them.
BUT: Negates any words that are stated before it.
TRY: Presupposes failure.
IF: Presupposes that you may not.
MIGHT: It does nothing definite. It leaves options for your listener.
WOULD HAVE: Past tense that draws attention to things that didn't actually happen.
SHOULD HAVE: Past tense that draws attention to things that didn't actually happen (and implies guilt.)
COULD HAVE: Past tense that draws attention to things that didn't actually happen but the person tries to take credit as if it did happen.
CAN’T/DON’T: These words force the listener to focus on exactly the opposite of what you want. This is a classic mistake that parents and coaches make without knowing the damage of this linguistic error.
Examples:
Toxic phrase: "Don't drop the ball!"
Likely result: Drops the ball
Better language: "Catch the ball!"
Toxic phrase: "You shouldn't watch so much television."
Likely result: Watches more television.
Better language: "I read too much television makes people stupid. You might find yourself turning that TV off and picking up one of those books more often!"
Exercise:
Take a moment to write down all the phrases you use on a daily basis or any Toxic self-talk that you have noticed yourself using. Write these phrases down so you will begin to catch yourself as they occur and change them.
Forge a positive relationship with the world around you and the world will become a better place for you to live.
By Ralph Marston
Friday, June 13, 2008
Believe In Yourself
Life is a challenging road, sometimes hard and steep. Often it seems easier to look and never leap...
But there is a certain way to ensure that you will not fail, have faith in your abilities and your efforts will prevail.
Be strong and determinded to gain all that you seek, for fortune sets no limits to the heights you can achieve and you can be the very best, if thats what you believe.
But there is a certain way to ensure that you will not fail, have faith in your abilities and your efforts will prevail.
Be strong and determinded to gain all that you seek, for fortune sets no limits to the heights you can achieve and you can be the very best, if thats what you believe.
The 20 Truths
- Faith is the ability to not panic.
- If you worry, you didn't pray. If you pray, don't worry.
- As the beloved of Allah, prayer is kind of like calling home every day.
- Blessed are the flexible, for they shall not be bent out of shape.
- When we get tangled up in our problems, be still. Allah wants us to be still so He can untangle the knot.
- Do the math. Count your blessings.
- Allah wants spiritual fruit, not traditional nuts.
- Ya Allah! I have a problem. It's me.
- Silence is often misinterpreted, but never misquoted.
- The way you wash your face everyday, Give Sadqah every day, it's like inner purification.
- The most important things in your home are the people.
- Growing old is inevitable, growing up is optional.
- There is no key to happiness. The door is always open.
- A grudge is a heavy thing to carry.
- The riches is not the wealth you possess, but the wealth you gave out.
- We do not remember days of luxuries, but moments of sacrifice.
- Life moves too fast, so increase your precious moments of sacrifice.
- Nothing is real to you until you experience it, otherwise it's just hearsay.
- Keep yourself busy in some noble work, otherwise idleness would tend to evil which will eventually ruin you.
- Surviving and living your life successfully requires courage.
Thursday, June 5, 2008
Hope Springs Eternally
Hope Springs Eternally
I had times such as this
Not knowing where or when
Yet still hoping our paths
Will soon merge once again
Memories comforted me
During times you were gone
Yet I await in anticipation
Hoping paths blend into one
I had thought of you often
Even though we are far apart
As I recall paths that led
Upon journeys heart to heart
I had patience on my side
So the storms I can weather
As hope springs eternally
In uniting our hearts together
I had not given up on hope
It helped me make it through
While I await your return
Dreams of you and I continue
I had times such as this
Not knowing where or when
Yet still hoping our paths
Will soon merge once again
Memories comforted me
During times you were gone
Yet I await in anticipation
Hoping paths blend into one
I had thought of you often
Even though we are far apart
As I recall paths that led
Upon journeys heart to heart
I had patience on my side
So the storms I can weather
As hope springs eternally
In uniting our hearts together
I had not given up on hope
It helped me make it through
While I await your return
Dreams of you and I continue
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