Chalk drawings (Incredible)

More chalk drawings from Julian Beever. Scroll down slowly and stop at each new frame. Incredible!! !!! Julian Beever is an English artist who's famous for his art on the pavement of England, France, Germany, USA, Australia and Belgium . Beever gives to his drawings an amazing 3D illusion.

People are actually avoiding walking in the "hole"

Samsung Electronics

Caller: "Can you give me the telephone number for Jack?"
Operator: "I'm sorry, sir, I don't understand who you are talking about".
Caller: "On page 1, section 5, of the user guide it clearly states that I need to unplug the fax machine from the AC wall socket and telephone Jack before cleaning. Now, can you give me the number for Jack?"
Operator: "I think you mean the telephone point on the wall".


Tech Support: "I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop".
Customer: "OK".
Tech Support: "Did you get a pop-up menu?".
Customer: "No".
Tech Support: "OK. Right-Click again. Do you see a pop-up menu?"
Customer: "No".
Tech Support: "OK, sir. Can you tell me what you have done up until this point?".
Customer: "Sure. You told me to write 'click' and I wrote 'click'".

Tech Support: "OK. In the bottom left hand side of the screen, can you see the 'OK' button displayed?"
Customer: "Wow. How can you see my screen from there?"


Caller: "I deleted a file from my PC last week and I have just realised that>I need it. If I turn my system clock back two weeks will I have my file back again?".


There's always one. This has got to be one of the funniest things in a long time. I think this guy should have been promoted, not fired. This is a true story from the Word Perfect Helpline, which was transcribed from a recording monitoring the customer care department. Needless to say the Help Desk employee was fired; however, he/she is currently suing the Word Perfect organization for "Termination without Cause". Actual dialogue of a former WordPerfect Customer Support employee. (Now Iknow why they record these conversations!):
Operator: "Ridge Hall, computer assistance; may I help you?"
Caller: "Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect."
Operator: "What sort of trouble??"
Caller: "Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away."
Operator: "Went away?"
Caller: "They disappeared."
Operator: "Hmm. So what does your screen look like now?"
Caller: "Nothing."
Operator: "Nothing??"
Caller: "It's blank; it won't accept anything when I type."
Operator: "Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out??"
Caller: "How do I tell?"
Operator: "Can you see the C: prompt on the screen??"
Caller: "What's a sea-prompt?"
Operator: "Never mind, can you move your cursor around the screen?"
Caller: "There isn't any cursor: I told you, it won't accept anything I type."
Operator: "Does your monitor have a power indicator??"
Caller: "What's a monitor?"
Operator: "It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV. Does it have a little light that tells you when it's on??"
Caller: "I don't know."
Operator: "Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where the power cord goes into it. Can you see that??"
Caller: "Yes, I think so."
Operator: "Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it's plugged>into the wall.
Caller: "Yes, it is."
Operator: "When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there were two cables plugged into the back of it, not just one??"
Caller: "No."
Operator: "Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and find the other cable."
Caller: "Okay, here it is."
Operator: "Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged securely into the back of your computer."
Caller: "I can't reach."
Operator: "Uh huh. Well, can you see if it is??"
Caller: "No."
Operator: "Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way over??"
Caller: "Oh, it's not because I don't have the right angle - it's because it's dark."
Operator: "Dark??"
Caller: "Yes - the office light is off, and the only light I have is coming in from the window."
Operator: "Well, turn on the office light then."
Caller: "I can't."
Operator: "No? Why not??"
Caller: "Because there's a power failure."
Operator: "A power...................................... A power failure?
Aha, Okay, we've got it licked now. Do you still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff your computer came in??"
Caller: "Well, yes, I keep them in the closet."
Operator: "Good. Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up just like it was when you got it. Then take it back to the store you bought it from."
Caller: "Really? Is it that bad?"
Operator: "Yes, I'm afraid it is."
Caller: "Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them??"
Operator: "Tell them you're too stupid to own a computer!!!!!"

ABCD?
1. Heard of ABCD? But of course............" American Born Confused Desi.......">
2. But how about an ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQURSTUVWXYZ ? " American Born Confused Desi, Emigrated From Gujarat, Housed In Jersey, Keeping Lotsa Money, Named Omkarnath Patel, Quickly Reached Success Through Underhanded Vicious Ways, Xenophobic, Yet Zestful " Howzzat?

Garfield-8

5 Reasons Why God Uses Problems

The problems you face will either defeat you or develop you - depending on how you respond to them. Unfortunately, most people fail to see how God wants to use problems for good in their lives. They react foolishly and resent their problems rather than pausing to consider what benefit they might bring. Here are five ways God wants to use the problems in your life:

1. God uses problems to DIRECT you. Sometimes God must light a fire under you to getyou moving. Problems often point us in a new direction andmotivate us to change. Is God trying to get your attention? "Sometimes it takes a painful situation to make us change our ways."
2. God uses problems to INSPECT you. People are like tea bags...if you want to know what's inside them, just drop them into hot ever water! Has God testedyour faith with a problem What do problems reveal aboutyou? "When you have many kinds of troubles, you should be full of joy, because you know that these troubles test your faith, and this will give you patience."
3. God uses problems to CORRECT you. Some lessons we learn only through pain and failure. It'slikely that as a child your parents told you not to touch a hot stove. But you probably learned by being burned.Sometimes we only learn the value of something... health, money, a relationship. .. by losing it. "It was the best thingthat could have happened to me, for it taught me to pay attention to your laws."
4. God uses problems to PROTECT you. A problem can be a blessing in disguise if it prevents you frombeing harmed by something more serious. Last year a friendwas fired for refusing to do something unethical that his boss had asked him to do. His unemployment was a problem - butit saved him from being convicted and sent to prison a yearlater when management's actions were eventually discovered. "You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good...
5. God uses problems to PERFECT you. Problems, when responded to correctly, are character builders.God is far more interested in your character than your comfort.Your relationship to God and your character are the only two things you're going to take with you into eternity. "We can rejoice when we run into problems... they help us learn to be patient. And patience develops strength ofcharacter in us and helps us trust God more each time we use it until finally our hope and faith are strong and steady."

Here's the point:
God is at work in your life - even when you do not recognize it or understand it.But it's much easier and profitable when you cooperate with Him. "Success can be measured not only in achievements, but in lessons learned, lives touched and moments shared along the way"

Change Your Attitude

SHREK SAID:

1. To donkey: stop singing! its no wonder you dont have any friends.
2. (looking at farquaad's huge castle) do ya think maybe he's compensating for something?
3. donkey, you HAVE the right to remain silent. what you lack is the capacity.
4. I... I have helmet hair.
5. (on burping) what? it's a compliment. better out than in, I always say.
6. well, let me out it this way, princess. men of farquaad's stature are in short supply.

Deleted Scene - F.R.I.E.N.D.S

Wisdom

Think Positive!!!!!!!!!!

This is nice - "finding positive out of every negative " - which we don't always manage to do.
I am thankful...
1. For the husband who snores all night,
because he is at home asleep with me and not with someone else.

2. For my teenage daughter who is complaining about doing dishes,
because that means she is at home & not on the streets.

3. For the taxes that I pay
because it means that I am employed.

4. For the mess to clean after a party
because it means that I have been surrounded by friends.

5. For the clothes that fit a little too snug
because it means I have enough to eat.

6. For my shadow that watches me work
because it means I am out in the sunshine.

7. For a floor that needs mopping, and windows that need cleaning
because it means I have a home.

8. For all the complaining I hear about the government
because it means that we have freedom of speech.

9. For the parking spot I find at the far end of the parking lot
because it means I am capable of walking and that I have been blessed with transportation.

10. For the noise I have to bear from my neighbors
because it means that I can hear.

11. For the pile of laundry and ironing
because it means I have clothes to wear.

12. For weariness and aching muscles at the end of the day
because it means I have been capable of working hard.

13. For the alarm that goes off in the early morning hoursbecause it means that I am still alive.

Cool optical illusions

You should see a man's face and also a word...

Hint: Try tilting your head to the right, the world begins with 'L'

Do you see gray areas in between the squares?

Now where did they come from?

Are the purple lines straight or bent?

Is This Possible??

If you take a look at the following picture , let me tell you ... it is not animated. Your eyes are making it move. To test this, stare at one spot for a couple seconds and everything will stop moving. Or look at the black center of each circle and it will stop moving. But move your eyes to the next black center and the previous will move after you take your eyes away from it.... Weird

Thank You Lord!

What Happens in Heaven

I dreamt that I went to Heaven and an angel was showing me around. We walked side-by-side inside a large workroom filled with angels.
My angel guide stopped in front of the first section and said, "This is the Receiving Section. Here, all petitions to God said in prayer are received."
I looked around in this area, and it was terribly busy with so many angels sorting out petitions written onvoluminous paper sheets and scraps from people all over the world.
Then we moved on down a long corridor until we reached the second section.
The angel then said to me, "This is the Packaging and Delivery Section. Here, the graces and blessings the people asked for are processed and delivered to the living persons who asked for them."
I noticed again how busy it was there. There were many angels working hard at that station, since so many blessings had been requested and were being packaged for delivery to Earth. Finally at the farthest end of the long corridor we stopped at the door of a very small station. To my great surprise, only one angel was seated there, idly doing nothing. "
This is the Aknowledgment Section," my angel friend quietly admitted to me. He seemed embarrassed "How is it that? There's no work going on here?" I asked. "So sad," the angel sighed. "After people receive the blessings that they asked for, very few send back acknowledgments.
"How does one acknowledge God's blessings?" I asked.
"Simple," the angel answered. "Just say, "Thank you, Lord."
"What blessings should they acknowledge?" I asked.
"If you have food in the refrigerator, clothes on your back, a roof overhead and a place to sleep you are richer than 75% of this world. "If you have money in the bank, in your wallet, and spare change in a dish, you are among the top 8% of the world's wealthy.
"And if you get this on your own computer, you are part of the 1% in the world who has that opportunity."
Also .....
"If you woke up this morning with more health than illness ...... you are more blessed than the many who will not even survive this day.
"If you have never experienced the fear in battle, the loneliness of imprisonment, the agony of torture, or the pangs of starvation .. you are ahead of 700 million people in the world.
"If you can attend a church meeting without the fear of harassment, arrest, torture or death you are envied by, and more blessed than, three billion people in the world.
"If your parents are still alive and still married .. you are very rare. If you can hold your head up and smile, you are not the norm, you're unique to all those in doubt and despair."
Ok, what now? How can I start?
If you can read this message, you just received a double blessing in that someone was thinking of you as very special and you are more blessed than over two billion people in the world who cannot read at all.
Attn: Acknowledge Dept.: Thank You Lord! "Thank you Lord, for giving me the ability to share this message and for giving me so many wonderful people to share it with".

Garfield-7

Test for Dementia

Below are four (4) questions and a bonus question. You have to answer them instantly. You can't take your time, answer all of them immediately. OK?

Let's find out just how clever you really are....


Ready? GO!!! (scroll down)












First Question:
You are participating in a race. You overtake the second person. What position are you in?







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Answer: If you answered that you are first, then you are absolutely wrong! If you overtake the second person and you take his place, you are second!

Try not to screw up next time.
Now answer the second question, but don't take as much time as you took for the first question, OK?

Second Question:
If you overtake the last person, then you are...?
(scroll down)




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Answer: If you answered that you are second to last, then you are wrong again. Tell me, how can you overtake the LAST Person?



You're not very good at this, are you?





Third Question:
Very tricky arithmetic! Note: This must be done in your head only. Do NOT use paper and pencil or a calculator. Try it.



Take 1000 and add 40 to it. Now add another 1000 . Now add 30. Add another 1000 . Now add 20. Now add another 1000 Now add 10. What is the total?


Scroll down for answer.....











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Did you get 5000?

The correct answer is actually 4100.



If you don't believe it, check it with a calculator!
Today is definitely not your day, is it?
Maybe you'll get the last question right......
.....Maybe.



Fourth Question:
Mary's father has five daughters: 1. Nana, 2. Nene, 3. Nini, 4. Nono... What is the name of the fifth daughter?









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Did you Answer Nunu?
NO! Of course it isn't.
Her name is Mary. Read the question again!



Okay, now the bonus round:

A mute person goes into a shop and wants to buy a toothbrush. By imitating the action of brushing his teeth he successfully expresses himself to the shopkeeper and! the purchase is
done. Next, a blind man comes into the shop who wants to buy a pair of sunglasses; how does HE indicate what he wants?







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He just has to open his mouth and ask...
It's really very simple..... Like you!


PASS THIS ON TO FRUSTRATE THE SMART PEOPLE IN YOUR LIFE!

Dad

"I didn't recognize you"

A middle aged woman had a heart attack and was taken to the hospital. While on the operating table she had a near death experience. Seeing God She asked "Is my time up?" God said, "No, you have another 43 years, 2 months and 8 days to live."

Upon recovery, the woman decided to stay in the hospital and have a Facelift, liposuction, and a tummy tuck. She even had someone come in and change her hair color. Since she had so much more time to live, she figured she might as well make the most of it. After her last operation, she was released from the hospital. While crossing the street on her way home, she was killed by an ambulance. Arriving in front of God, she demanded, "I thought you said I had another 40 years? Why didn't you pull me from out of the path of the>ambulance?"
(You'll love this!!!)
God replied, I didn't recognize you."

HILARIOUS!!!!!!

In The Court...
These are from a book called Disorder in the American Courts, and are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and now published by court reporters who had the torment of staying calm while these exchanges were actually taking place.

ATTORNEY: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?
WITNESS: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.

ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
WITNESS: I forget.
ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of something you forgot?

ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said to you that morning?
WITNESS: He said, "Where am I, Cathy?"
ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you?
WITNESS: My name is Susan!

ATTORNEY: Do you know if your daughter has ever been involved in voodoo?
WITNESS: We both do.
ATTORNEY: Voodoo?
WITNESS: We do.
ATTORNEY: You do?
WITNESS: Yes, voodoo.

ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?
WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam?

ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the twenty-one-year-old, how old is he?
WITNESS: Uh, he's twenty-one.

ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken?
WITNESS: Are you shittin' me?

ATTORNEY: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: And what were you doing at that time?
WITNESS: Uh.... I was getting laid!

ATTORNEY: She had three children, right?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: How many were boys?
WITNESS: None.
ATTORNEY: Were there any girls?
WITNESS: Are you shittin' me? Your Honor, I think I need a different attorney. Can I get a new attorney?

ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated?
WITNESS: By death.
ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated?
WITNESS: Now whose death do you suppose terminated it?

ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual?
WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beard.
ATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female?
WITNESS: Guess.

ATTORNEY: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?
WITNESS: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.

ATTORNEY: Doctor, how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead people?> WITNESS: All my autopsies are performed on dead people. Would you like to rephrase that?

ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you go to?
WITNESS: Oral.

ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.
ATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time?
WITNESS: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy on him!

And the best for last: --->>>
ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
ATTORNEY: I see, but could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?
WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law.

Beware

personality

Check this out.... It Really Worked with me.... Will work with u too...Here you have a great chance to know about yourself like your characteretc. without spending any money. This test was devised by biggest university of the world. It tells about your personality just by yourchoice. So know yourself & enjoyHere it is.....
Imagine you walked into a small hut by the river in the jungle. You pushed open the door, in front of you were 7 small beds to the right of the hut, and another 7 small chairs surrounding a small round table. In the middle of the table was a round food tray with 5 kinds of fruit init.There are:
a. Apple
b. Banana
c. Strawberry
d. Peach
e. Orange
Which fruit will u choose? Your choice reveals about u! Pls be very Honest to yourself.....& Now scroll down for results:
........................................
.......................................................
..............................................................................
.......................................................................................................
........................................................................................................................
TEST RESULTS:
Here are the results.
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a. if you chosen apple: that means you are a person who loves to eat Apple
b. if you chosen banana: that means you are a person who loves to eat Banana
c. if you chosen strawberry: that means you are a person who loves to eat Strawberry
d. if you chosen peach: that means you are a person who loves to eat Peache.
if you chosen orange: that means you are person who loves to eat Orange
Note: If u r hunting for me to punch me.....Well...I am busy hunting for the person who sent me this.

God made me special

The £20 Note

A well-known speaker started off his seminar by holding up a £20.00 note. In the room of 200, he asked, "Who would like this £20 note?" Hands started going up.

He said, "I am going to give this £20 to one of you but first, let me do this. He proceeded to crumple up the £20. He then asked, "Who still wants it?" Still the hands were up in the air.

Well, he replied, "What if I do this?" And he dropped it on the ground and started to grind it into the floor with his shoe. He picked it up, now crumpled and dirty. "Now, who still wants it?" Still the hands went into the air.

My friends, we have all learned a very valuable lesson.

No matter what I did to the money, you still wanted it because it did not decrease in value. It was still worth £20.

Many times in our lives, we are dropped, crumpled, and ground into the dirt by the decisions we make and the circumstances that come our way. We feel as though we are worthless. But no matter what has happened or what will happen, you will never lose your value.

Dirty or clean, crumpled or finely creased, you are still priceless to those who DO know you.
The worth of our lives comes not in what we do or who we know, but by God who loves us.

You are special - Don't EVER forget it."

Count your blessings, not your problems.

And remember: amateurs built the ark . . . professionals built the Titanic.
If God brings you to it - He will bring you through it.
Happy moments, praise God.
Difficult moments, seek God.
Quiet moments, worship God.
Painful moments, trust God.
Every moment, thank God.

Finger People