Growing Old

What a difference 30 years makes:


1972: Long hair

2002: Longing for hair


1972: The perfect high

2002: The perfect high yield mutual fund


1972: Acid rock

2002: Acid reflux


1972: Moving to California because it's cool

2002: Moving to California because it's warm


1972: Growing pot

2002: Growing pot belly


1972: Trying to look like Marlon Brando or Liz Taylor

2002: Trying NOT to look like Marlon Brando or Liz Taylor


1972: Seeds and stems

2002: Roughage


1972: Popping pills, smoking joints

2002: Popping joints


1972: Killer weed

2002: Weed killer


1972: The Grateful Dead

2002: Dr. Kevorkian


1972: Going to a new, hip joint

2002: Receiving a new hip joint


1972: Rolling Stones

2002: Kidney Stones


1972: Being called into the principal's office

2002: Calling the principal's office


1972: Screw the system

2002: Upgrade the system


1972: Disco

2002: Costco


1972: Parents begging you to get your hair cut

2002: Children begging you to get their heads shaved


1972: Taking acid

2002: Taking antacid


1972: Passing the drivers' test

2002: Passing the vision test


Just in case you weren't feeling too old today, this will certainly change things.

Each year the staff at Beloit College in Wisconsin puts together a list to try to give the faculty a sense of the mindset of this year's incoming first years.


Here's this year's list:

The people who are starting college this fall across the nation were born in 1983.

They are too young to remember the space shuttle blowing up.

Their lifetime has always included AIDS.

Bottle caps have always been screw off and plastic.

The CD was introduced the year they were born.

They have always had an answering machine.

They have always had cable.

They cannot fathom not having a remote control.

Popcorn has always been cooked in the microwave.

They never took a swim and thought about Jaws.

They can't imagine what hard contact lenses are.

They don't know who Mork was or where he was from.

They do not care who shot J. R. and have no idea who J. R. even is.

Michael Jackson has always been white.

McDonald's never came in Styrofoam containers.

They don't have a clue how to use a typewriter.

Do you feel old yet? Pass this on to the other old fogies in your life.